February is a lonely month.

It’s strange but I’ve had a hard time writing this piece. I’ve written and erased more times than I can count and came to a place where I realized that this is the kind of message that’s best sent through a different medium and so I shared it on my instagram page on Sunday. If you missed it, I’ve linked it here. (TLDW – our churches often leave our singles feeling isolated and as if marriage is a prize to be won. The cure to loneliness is not a romantic partner but rather godly community.)

Here me say – there is no cookie cutter timeline or series of life events that reflect a successful life.

Whatever the American Dream has taught you about working and striving and following the right steps to success is a lie because it leaves out one major aspect to the journey we’re on as believers – faith. Living a life of faithful obedience to Jesus means that we trust in HIS timeline and not one based on worldly standards. And while faithfulness to Jesus is the life we’re called to live, that does not mean that it comes without heartache, disappointment and grief because life on this side of eternity will always leave us longing – longing for eternity with Jesus.

So how do we press on? How do we cope with the pain that comes from living in a broken, sinful world?

We rally our people.

We surround ourselves with community that reminds us of who we are in Christ, the promise of abundance we have in Him, and of the gifts we have been given to point others to the same hope.

While the world uses this time of year to focus on a commercial, romantic kind of love, it can leave so many people – both those who are single and those who are not, feeling the pains of loneliness when life just doesn’t look like what you thought it would. I encourage you to channel whatever energy you feel pushing you toward filling that void with a romantic partner, start instead with investing in godly community that will point you to Jesus because he is the prize.

The world will tell you that love is the answer to loneliness but the truth is that love can still be a lonely place. Rally your people and lean on Jesus to comfort you in your loneliness through spirit led community. Marriage is not a benchmark, it’s a gift as is singleness – Jesus is the prize.